“I felt violated,
embarrassed. It kept happening; I didn’t know what to do? All I knew was I
wasn’t comfortable with it, I wanted this to stop. I wanted to stay in my room
with my door closed so that I could escape that creepy feeling. But at one
point, I realize nothing would happen so I tried ending my life”
No this isn’t a story!
This is a real life incident that someone has lived with which terrified me. I
don’t really know and it scares me that while I am writing my experience on
engaging with the Sahas stall, how many more children would be encountering
such experience! And that’s the exact reason why Sahas was born.
 |
| We engaged with the participants of all ages |
After 3 weeks of
meetings, preparations and hard work, finally Noida NCR Learning City
UnConference was happening. Since I was leading the stall team, we started
allocating the numbers to the people/organizations, managing the tables and
chairs at the same time. At the same time, we were also setting up our stall
which was experiential in nature. It was an interesting situation where I was
wearing number of hats at one time- I was leading Sahas for the stall, leading
the partnership with Noida UnConference on behalf of Sahas and also engaging as
participant. Definitely not so simple! We had designed the stall in a way that
people from all age groups and from diverse background can engage on the same
level and through this engagement we can share what work Sahas does and its
importance at the same time. In the first chart paper, participants were
invited to share “what were the things, questions or curiosities that used to
come to their mind when they were of 12 or 13 years?”- the answers ranged from “Increased interest
in opposite sex, wet dreams, masturbate, why” “uncomfortable with boys”
“Inferiority complex, I used to compare my appearance” “ye whisper kya hota
hai” “Am I pretty” “pad lene mein sharam aati thee” “why that blue ink in the
advertisement of pads”
The second chart had
three situations – where participants had to assume that they are the people in
the situation and how will they react. In the situation of menstruation- most
of the participants shared that they felt ashamed, embarrassed, uncomfortable
if they had got red stain on their clothes. “I thought I would die when I first
got periods. I thought some vein of my mine had got busted and so I would die.
I was sitting with my legs open and my mom was constantly telling me to sit
with my legs closed. I was scared and confused because no one was telling me
what was happening to me”
In the second
situation- most of the participants shared that they didn’t know what was
advertisement about? Generally parents used to change the channel; they started
feeling embarrassed to see the ad. “I thought it’s a balloon or some rubber
that could be used” while seeing the condom ad on the television.
 |
| Reunion with "My Perch" kids |
We invited participants
to share only if they are comfortable to answer the third question that
revolved around child sexual abuse. It was disheartening, scary and painful to
see so many people sharing their experiences and the feelings around it. “I
wanted to shout, I wanted to run away. I hated him all the more because I
trusted and respected him. I tried speaking to my parents but they just made me
shut down” shares one of the participants.
Then we explained how
Sahas works with adolescents around Gender, Sexuality and Reproductive Health
and also the stories from our previous interventions. When the participants
were asked, “When you were adolescents and you encountered curiosities or had
questions around the issues discussed before what did you want at that point?”
There was unanimous answer- they wanted someone to hear them out, a companion
who could guide them, understand their feelings and acceptance. Yes that’s what
was needed.
 |
| Sahas's stall |
 |
| Team Sahas |
It was an overwhelming
experience to host this experiential stall where everyone had a story and all
they needed was a space where they can feel heard! I am scared and full of
gratitude at the same time; scared because so many people experienced sexual
abuse from their closed one and they didn’t know what to do and they carry the
pain till now. Grateful because they considered our stall to be the safe space
where they could let go of their emotions! To me it was an exhausting
experience to engage with more than 100 people from the age of 10 to 50 years.
Talking about Noida
UnConference, I felt a strange synergy in Sahas’s work and UnConference where
both were co-creating a community where people had freedom to be what they are,
do whatever they wanted to and above all have a space to talk. There were so
many things happening at the same time- around 35 stalls showcasing work of
various organizations, offering tea, food, digital services, paintings;
workshops – on mindfulness, sociocracy, sound therapy, dance therapy, pot
making etc, you lead talks and others. What I found amazing was the group of
boys who were from “Creativity Adda” – they had placed their products which
they have made, they had a food stall where they offered more than 600
sandwiches, they had a group which was singing and dancing and like really
adding colors to the event.
Not to forget that
Manish Kataria who was constantly engaging the crowd with fun filled games
(though I couldn’t engage in those game L) The evening
lightened up with ‘YUGM’ band singing kabir and folk songs, which was followed
by number of performances that included performances by boys from Creativity
Adda. And then the magic was created by “Drum circles” I had never experienced such rhythm ever in my
life.
 |
| What energy ! |
The evening became
vibrant when Manish and Akshay took over the event with their super energizing
games. I enjoyed and engaged with each and every game- I never thought I had
that energy in me! I wanted the games and songs to continue- it was crazy and
just crazy. I find it hard to speak to people, make friends but here I got a
community itself where people were talking, having fun, sharing food, and yes
supporting one anotherJ I can’t be thankful enough to Harsh to
have us in the Noida UnConference. It was learning and enriching experience to
see structure and unstructured ideologies to amalgamate to create a community
space like Noida UnConference. I feel blessed!
“If you don’t believe in miracles
Perhaps you’ve
forgotten you are one”
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